Nathan H Maas
By Nicholas Ley
Born in a feed store named Zamzows, Nathan Hartley Maas has been a freak since birth.
He was the youngest member of the military (Spain) at the age of 3 but soon transferred to become a sniper in the Peace Corps. There, he learned the art of forgiveness and forgave millions over the next sixty years.
At age ninety, Nathan graduated high school with a B average and developed a cure for the uncommon cold. Although successful in medicine, Nathan once again joined the Peace Corps for reasons unknown. Training as a graphic designer, he won six awards and developed a real attitude.
Ego unchecked, he decided to start his own country (Spain 2), which quickly sank into the Atlantic Ocean. Unable to swim to shore, Nathan became a boat and is currently moored in Portland, Oregon. He has a slow leak and has petitioned a billionaire for repair. The billionaire has yet to respond.
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